She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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