Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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