did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
