Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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