I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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