I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
