Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
