I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
