My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
