Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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