sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
