3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If I die, sorry about rent.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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