i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
