I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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