ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
