Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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