so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
