My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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