dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
