I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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