What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
