Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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