your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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