i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
jump out the window naked night went bad
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
