Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
