any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
