some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
