you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
