I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
