Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The air was thick with penises
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
