help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.