I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.