just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize