Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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(574): I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight? http://tfl.nu/h1kj

Replies (10) Good night (1844) Bad night (503)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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(609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm

Replies (11) Good night (3671) Bad night (511)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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(828): he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art. http://tfl.nu/yesh

Replies (47) Good night (3146) Bad night (1568)
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(773): View more from Illinois

My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

didn't stop?

(773): View more from Illinois

naw, they were rude, not me.

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(773): My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family. (1-773): didn't stop? (773): naw, they were rude, not me. http://tfl.nu/wggq

Replies (32) Good night (11756) Bad night (830)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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(304): alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2 http://tfl.nu/q6v7

Replies (120) Good night (6642) Bad night (926)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name

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(571): I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name http://tfl.nu/x94s

Replies (24) Good night (6232) Bad night (986)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

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(814): All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles. http://tfl.nu/duc8

Replies (37) Good night (10754) Bad night (1422)
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(512): View more from Texas

Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

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(512): Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her. http://tfl.nu/6ypm

Replies (50) Good night (17880) Bad night (1133)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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(717): no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/m579

Replies (5) Good night (3618) Bad night (713)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck

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(217): I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck http://tfl.nu/cg9j

Replies (12) Good night (3433) Bad night (884)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.

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(410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59

Replies (17) Good night (911) Bad night (1364)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

(1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

Croutons?

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(787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t

Replies (3) Good night (1547) Bad night (371)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover

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(815): Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover http://tfl.nu/dbpl

Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (667)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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(412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu

Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (257)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad

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(502): like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad http://tfl.nu/fybr

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (308)

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