Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
