i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
