HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
