If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
