Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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