he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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