Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...