Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize