She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
