Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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