Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
