Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize