it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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