garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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