I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
