Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
