Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
