I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
