So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
