can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
