Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
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It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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