have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
