You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
