Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
