when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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