Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
