did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
