I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
