Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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