He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
