pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
