I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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